divbblog

Dating is such a fun time in some people’s lives,
But it can also be hurtful or rather crazy.
Some relationships take off from the get go and some last a day or two. While others, may even last weeks or possibly years, bringing them one day to the altar.

The most important thing to remember, if this relationship fails, is it does not mean you have failed. You might start to question if the break up was entirely your fault. You might even start asking yourself, “Is it because I am not smart enough, or is it because I am not pretty enough?” The truth is, it is none of those things, it’s just some people were not meant to be together; GOD has someone else in mind for you that is better suited for you. Just think that no relationship was ever a mistake but a learning lesson in life to you. It will make you stronger and a better person you will be because of it.

If you are in a relationship don’t let anyone force you into doing something you do not want to. They may tell you if you don’t do certain things, then they might threaten to break up with you. If that is the case, let them break up with you. I know it would be a painful thing to do at first, but it would be even more painful if you stay in a relationship where that person doesn’t truly respect or love you. It is like my mother use to tell me, “If they love you, than they would wait for you.” Wise words, from a wise mom! Remember always stay true to oneself. Don’t ever let anyone compromise your beliefs.

Secondly, if you want to try and make a relationship work, one of the most important things to remember is don’t act like leeches and be hooked to your date at the hip all the time. They may not mind this at first but eventually when they are spending 24/7 with you, they may start to really resent you later, if they haven’t already.

The third thing to remember, is to give that loved one some space, to spend time alone with their family or friends or to even have time to work on homework assignments, so they are not feeling so stressed all the time. Your boyfriend/girlfriend won’t be in school forever, so bare with them a while longer.
They need to have some extra alone time once in a while to focus on their studies so they can later succeed in life. You have the rest of your life together afterwards. Try to be a bit more understanding in this department. It may not always be an easy thing to do, but if you cherish this relationship, you need to give your loved one this necessary space. This shows you can be understanding to his/her needs, otherwise this relationship could really sink. Remember if their schooling is important to them, it should be just as important to you because you should want them to succeed as well. Before you know it they will be finished their schooling having more time to focus on the two of you. But for now, just because they may not be spending as much time as you like, doesn’t mean they feel any less about you.

When you are giving your boyfriend/girlfriend this necessary space, why not use this time to go out and spend with your family and friends. This way you can catch up because sometimes we tend to put these other people we care about on a back burner, not really meaning to. It is just that we have been so preoccupied with the excitement of being in a relationship. Your friends and family would be delighted too.

The fourth thing is, try and set aside at least 2 days a week to do something special together. There may be times you can only get together for 1 because of our busy lives but, don’t lash out at them by complaining that they are not spending enough time with you. That is a good way to make the other person feel like ending the relationship right there.

Fifthly, also try to be spontaneous; don’t always give flowers for just special occasions. Why not do it because you care about them and want to brighten up their day? You could even make a card or surprise them on a picnic or even make a call to them out of the blue. Whatever you choose to do can help strengthen your relationship.

Remember though, all relationships take work. If you don’t put any effort into it, this is when you take the risk of yours failing. Sometimes people spend more time with sports, parties and drinking. You are now giving less energy and time spent on your relationship, making the other person feel not as important. Is this really how you want that person you care about to feel? Maybe, you need to put the same amount of energy into the person you care about by giving more quality time to be spent in the relationship as well. This can make a huge difference in each other’s happiness.

The sixth thing is if you follow all these steps you are creating a sturdier foundation for your relationship. Another thing I forgot to mention which is also extremely important and that is to be always honest and faithful to your partner because without it there is no trust and the foundation you worked so hard to build, could come crashing down. This could literally destroy any relationship, no matter how strong you thought it to be. It is not to say it might not fail, but at least if you put these tips into action it gives your relationship a fighting chance.

The last thing to always remember, I have written here as a quick recap is, you need to always be honest, have respect, trust their love and to give your significant other the freedom to spend time with friends or family. We all need this sometimes. To do this, your relationship will blossom. But, if you are on the other end of the spectrum, don’t take advantage of this. Make sure you also make time for that loved one too, making them feel special or if you fail to do so, you could lose your greatest catch up to date.

If you haven’t started dating yet, don’t worry, it will happen before you know it. It is just like the saying goes, “Good Things Happen to Those Who Wait.”
Written By: Diane Van Bommel