Sometimes after a breakup it can be very difficult to move on because let’s face it this person you have entrusted your whole heart to has figuratively tore your heart into several pieces like a jigsaw puzzle. It feels as though these pieces can never be put back together. This pains you to no end.

If you were dating this person and they want out, it is best to let this person leave if they don’t feel the same way, especially if they don’t reciprocate your feelings. You deserve that kind of love, not one that is just plain one-sided or you will never be fully happy in life.

If you are married on the other hand, then you need to try and work things out in counselling or whatever you need to do to try and save this relationship. A great movie for someone to watch who is struggling in their marriage is the movie, “Fire Proof.” This movie has a very important message to all couples. Sometimes with all the effort it still may not turn out like you were hopefully wishing for. It hurts to let those we love leave us, especially when they have fallen for someone new, but it’s just like the saying, “If you love someone, set them free and if they come back, then it was meant to be and if they don’t you were not meant to spend your lives together.”

You cannot understand when things ever started going wrong in your relationship in the first place. The breakup becomes even more painful when you have invested not only months but years into this person. You have lived your life for so long with this person and now you have a hard time digesting that your life and precious time together is now over. You don’t know how you are going to manage to live your life without them because they have always been a huge and significant part of it. There are times you may say to yourself, “If only they still loved me and this was all just a very bad dream.” Unfortunately, this is all a part of life. Some people are faced with this pain and some are fortunate enough to avoid this type of agony entirely.

It now becomes difficult to do even everyday tasks because everything around you reminds you of this person. It may even be sometimes challenging to eat because you are feeling too depressed at times to even eat a bite. Whatever you do don’t starve yourself, try and nibble on some healthy snacks such as your favourite fruit or veggies, so you can keep up your strength. There are moments after the breakup you may find it hard to breathe at times and your stomach may be churning, feeling as though you may possibly be sick at any given moment. Don’t worry this sickening feeling shall later pass, But sometimes there are moments it may be triggered again by a song on the radio, a piece of clothing, some fragrance, or even an old photograph can bring these memories of the person flowing back to you.

Usually when this all happens you start looking at yourself in a different light. You may no longer see yourself as attractive or a smart individual. That is because part of your ego has also been hurt or taken away from you when this relationship ended. You have to remind yourself that you are amazing and if that person can’t see how amazing you truly are, well than it is their lost. You will get through this, but it is going to take some time to heal. This may not always happen right away but whatever you do don’t become too discouraged in feeling like giving up. This is the time to turn to GOD in prayer for strength, as well as turning to your friends and family for support. They are all there for you because they care about you and love you.

Sometimes people may tell you that you need to get over this. This of course is one of the last things you wish to hear making you more frustrated and angrier than you were before. This is something you definitely do not wish to hear at this time or at any given moment for that matter. Some people may not fully understand that we all handle different crises in our lives differently and that it is okay if we do. There is nothing wrong with that because we are all human. Take all the time you need. Unfortunately, sometimes friends and family don’t recognize that we all need to cope with this loss in our own private way. Your loved ones are meaning well, but the fact they have never experienced it makes it harder for them to relate in what you must be going through. They can only imagine and sometimes this gives them an inaccurate perspective or thoughts on how they think you should be handling things.

The best advice I can give you is to keep yourself busy by either hanging out with your family and friends, exercising, watching comedies like “Just for Laughs” but try and stay away from the romantic movies for now because it is just going to remind you of that loved one and make you feel that much more horrible. Also, try and stay away from filling that space or void in your life with food because if you stress eat, it is just going to add to your depression because you will just put on excess weight making you feel even worse about yourself. Another important thing to do is pray as prayer can give you the much needed strength to get through this difficult time in your life.

Also, give yourself time to get used to being alone for a while. Sometimes we need to work on ourselves so we can feel better about whom we are before starting to date another person too soon. If you enter this new relationship on the rebound, the chances are it won’t work out because you were not emotionally ready to move on quite yet.

In my past, I had fallen in love with someone, only to have my heart ripped from me. This young man had told me that he loved me and that he had never felt that way about anyone before. He even wrote a love letter to me, stating that one day he would love to marry me. I was totally crushed when he ended that relationship and even more so when I had learned that he was immediately seeing other people right away. It felt as though I had never mattered to him. I thought, “How could he do this to me, when he said that he loved me?”

I have to tell you that it took me a very, very long time to finally get through that devastation because the breakup left me feeling like I was no longer special and if he no longer cared for me, then who would? This is a normal reaction for someone who is on the same end of the breakup as I was. You start feeling sorry for yourself and sometimes it may make you feel like your life is no longer worth living. This is so far from the truth because no one is ever worth taking your own life for and I mean no one!!! You will get through this I promise you. I have to tell you though that it is not going to be easy at times but you can jump this hurdle in your life. The most important this is to never give up on yourself or you will be defeated.

It was hard at first to start dating again after this happened to me and I didn’t exactly find Mr. Right until a few years later, but the point is I eventually did. He is amazing, although he may drive me nuts at times, like I do him. I realize that this other man that I have now married was much better suited for me. My husband is such an amazing, loving husband and father to our four children. GOD has a plan for each one of us. HE knows what is better for us, as HE knows us better than we know ourselves. Sometimes those doors were closed for us for a reason, for something better to come into our lives.

I am not saying that you will ever truly get over that person, because sometimes those cherished memories of that love one will live on forever in your hearts.

I wanted to share with all of you how amazing the man GOD brought into my life to marry truly is. You see when him and I were dating I told him that I didn’t feel it was fair to him if we continued seeing each other because there was always going to be a small part of my heart for this other guy who broke my heart. My husband, who was my boyfriend at the time, said to me, “Diane, I would rather have part of you, than none of you at all. I love you, Diane.” Well, needless to say this young man won me over. I saw what a kind and generous heart he had and he loved me so much that he never gave up on me or us.

I know the pain I went through may not compare to what you are going through now, but I do understand how it feels to lose that person who captured your heart. It almost feels as though you are grieving for someone you lost to death. I know that sounds a little ridiculous but it does somehow feel that way in a weird way. That is because that person you fell in love with is no longer the same, like they no longer here exist; it’s as if that person had died and you’re now grieving for them and also for the loving relationship you had lost.

The point I want to make about all of this is that you can survive this pain, coming out stronger than you ever gave yourself credit for. Life throws us many unexpected curve balls that we may not always be prepared to catch, but when we trust in GOD and HIS plan for us we cannot only catch that speed-ball but we will also be able to hit a home-run with gaining happiness back into our lives.

This new found revelation may not happen right away, but with prayer and time left to heal things, we will be back to being more than just okay. A friend of mind once told me during my cancer, “Remember, to take one day at a time.” That was great advice and I am sharing it with all of you, as I feel those wise words can comply to this too.

❤ Here is a poem I wrote when I was in my teenage years because my older sister had her husband leave her. I knew she had been devastated, so I wrote this writing in hopes of brightening up her spirits. I hope it somehow brightens up your spirits too. ❤

GOD Bless!!! Diane Van Bommel

Love

Love brings happiness,

Love brings sorrows,

It brings you up,

It brings you down;

It makes you feel like you are upside down.

 No one can explain it,

No one can change it.

It is a feeling that should be kept and not left.

If it is left do not weep,

For love will happen again and take its course on someone new.

He(she) will then keep you from feeling blue

And let you think about nothing but you two.

Written By: Diane Van Bommel

❤ Note: My older sister I mentioned earlier that I wrote this poem for,

well she did find love again and I am happy to say that

she has been happily married now to this man for 25 years.

She met him after going back to school to go to college.

They have two sons together,

along with a son and daughter with her previous husband.

Her new love is an amazing husband and father to all of them,

so you see you too can find love again.

You just need to believe that you are worthy of that kind of love

and that you are special to someone out there.

You just may have not met them yet.

Take care and GOD Bless!!! ❤

(This music video, “BEST Breakup Songs!” is uploaded from YouTube.com by Trew455)